(this post inspired by a Michael Hyatt post)
I am a loyal person. In fact if there is any truth to common characteristics of astrological signs, then there is no surprise that loyalty figures prominently in my Sun sign. What holds true in my real life holds true for me online. I have joined several communities on FaceBook from time to time, some based on age, some based on ethnicity, and others based on a shared interest. But I just unsubscribed to your Facebook group. Over time, this is becoming easier to do.
I finally realized I am not losing anything but my time hanging out with you and I just don’t have it to spare. When I was initially learning HOW to behave in a group, I was willing to put up with some things that amounted to bad behavior. I was learning how to make friends, get noticed, share appropriately, etc. You know the drill. My thought was the knowledge I might learn was more important than being ignored or not supported. But the small talk and online giggling with the most popular girl is just too much. I can no longer take it.
Why? Pick one or two
1. YOUR FACEBOOK Community does not support me – You do not do a good job of genuine building community. Could you possibly need to return to kindergarten for a lesson on sharing. We all have different expectations when we enter a group, but generally what ties us together is a desire to grow. And in circle time, most members get a turn. That means sharing the love within the group. The goal of the Facebook group is to prop the members up.
2. You do a bad job at being inclusive. If there are business leads, sponsorships, photo-ops, interview requests, etc, these should be spread around the group,not just to your friends. When you promote the group you should promote the best of the whole group.
3. What you share is too generic. – We need specific data. Information that would be truly helpful to the group, like how much money members should charge prospects or how to reach an editor for pitching are not discussed openly. Is this because you are operating on some assumption that money should never discussed in public or are you thinking that if you share too much, someone who doesn’t deserve the knowledge may get it.
I could go on but what is the point. We all come to groups for different reasons. I think if you find one group is not serving your needs, you really owe it to yourself to move on. Plus it is not in keeping with the focus of my morning meditation to dwell on negative space rather than focus on the things I desire. Basta.
Have you unsubscribed from someone’s Facebook page recently? Why? Please consider leaving a comment .
Arelis Cintron says
I am a part of a handful of facebook groups. However, I do not frequent half of them. One is for a group in my area, but there are so many people in it that its hard to feel comfortable getting to know anyone. Another is for my church, we use it to get the word out about our community obligations. Then there is one for the Pushing Lovely Writers community, which is my favorite. I try and check in and scan things daily.
I don’t add myself to too many because of time constraints. No sense of spreading my self thin in the virtual realm if I do that already in real life.
Patricia A Patton says
Pushing Lovely is really the best I must agree. I am trying to stay with those groups I actually participate in rather than trying to be everywhere.
Alisha says
Patricia I actually left several! One in particular was one that I joined when I just began to start blogging on a more consistent basis and wanted to learn more tips and insight on how to be a better blogger. Over time I learned how to avoid conflict, deal with cliches and other ish that had absolutely NOTHING to do with being a better blogger. People would always ask for you to “like” this or “visit” here but never return the favor. And I can say I feel so much better after leaving those groups! *exhale*
Patricia A Patton says
It took me a long time to learn how to get the most out of groups. Initially it was difficult for me, besides the obvious reasons of friends chatting with friends. I did not know how to make small talk. I certainly have learned not to push disagreement. After all it is not likely that I can actually change someone’s opinion. I think my expectations are more in order now. And I understand that being somewhere that I can exhale is a must. Thanks for checking the post out.
Kimberly says
Hi Patricia ~
THANK YOU for sharing this! This is so insightful in more ways than one. I truly thought I was one of the few who felt this way. Some of these FB groups are nothing put fan clubs of certain individual’s vs what the purpose of the group is “allegedly” outlined as. The popularity contest are incredible as well as their needs for their egos to be feed. I have found a few (three) that are what they say they are and I am grateful for them.
Kimberly~
Patricia A Patton says
I am happy you found a place that works for you Kimberly. It is a drag to be ignored.
Sylvia Lewis says
I feel you, Patricia. Last week I unsubscribed from several FB groups. Not enough community-building, lazy admins with no updates, non-stop generic old re-posts; too many open-closed conversations as if the rest of us were not there. So rude! There’s too much repetition– the same item re-posted everywhere. Hate that!
Patricia A Patton says
I had to laugh when I read your comment. Enough already, right. Who has time. Someone read the post and said I needed a hug. But no need to feel sorry for me once I unsubscribed. I needed attention while I was a subscriber. Ha