From the Wisdom Keepers Series:
Meet Kasandrea Banks, World Traveler and Retired Educational Social Worker on Aging and Love
How do you feel about the truth of the saying, “Age ain’t nuth’n but a number.” Is it true for you
I used to think about age relative to those I saw aging. My mother and my grandmother were my models for aging. I thought that when I got to be 72 I would look differently based on how I saw my mother and grandmother age. But now my picture of me aging is not what I saw with them. It’s better and it has to do with modern medicine and perhaps the food that we eat. When I thought of someone 72 years old I thought of a person with white hair. But my hair is not white. In fact I have very little white in my hair. I neither dye nor put any chemicals in it. And I marvel at the fact that I am not white haired as both my mother and grandmother were at 65 even. But as I said, I am 72. I think it all depends upon your brain and how you use it, your memory. Of course it takes me a while to retrieve some items out of my memory bank; but I attribute that to the fact that I’ve got so much stuff in there. It’s like a computer. You have to pull it up and eventually you get to it. So the number, to me, it really is just a number. Your body ages and sometimes you can’t do anything about that either. That is what bothers me. Sometimes it takes a while to get my body moving so that I can maneuver where I want to go. That hasn’t’ always been the case. So in nutshell, to say that I am 72 does not really say who I am.
Do you feel old?
No. Old to me means ancient. Aging means acquiring knowledge. I have been on the planet for 72 years and in these 72 years I’ve attained and retained a lot of knowledge. And that is good stuff up in here. I can regurgitate and model it for those that come to me for assistance or for having dialogue with friends. It’s like a privilege to be able to live this long and learn all that I’ve learned; and share what I have learned. In sharing that knowledge it is appreciated. I share with my grandchildren, my daughter in-law, friends, people I may meet in a grocery store. Being able to express yourself and being able to let people know what is inside your head and that exchange is appreciated. I think it is appreciated maybe because I am older .
What makes you feel vital?
I think love. Love and being loved. I recently lost my husband of 51 years and we had a formula for love that changed as time went by but it kept us together. The love we had was reflected in my two sons who now are my caretakers who reflect the love they have for me by being there for me at this time of loss; and by showing me I am loved by them as well as by my grandchildren, DIL and friends who have all been there to support me. That makes me feel euphoric to be the recipient of all these love that has come forth as a result of this loss. my relationship with my husband started very young, when I was twenty-one that let me know he was the one for me. We were both in school. He was always very kind. From the very beginning, he shared what he had with me. When I would run out of my allowance that I’d gotten from my parents, he would share what he had with me. I never had anyone in my life before and I knew he was special. And when I met his family, I knew where he got that from because his father and mother had a very loving relationship. So sometimes people think that youth makes them feel vital, but love is much deeper than youth. because youth is superficial. Love is what is inside…what I get from others and what I give to others makes me feel vital.
What has been your biggest surprise about aging?
The biggest surprise is that I used to think when you age you would stop growing spiritually emotionally , intellectually… that all of those things would diminish but it hasn’t happened. I feel I am still growing intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. When I reflect back on my grandchildren, I see the things that I give to them emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually and I marvel at how I put those things in them and they don’t even know what I am doing. But I know what I am doing. I am still, with my sons and my daughter-in-laws, a valued individual in their lives and I appreciate that. I guess I thought people would disregard you, You would become just an old person in a corner without much worth. I see a lot of that today in our culture in the USA. But having travelled, I have also seen that old people are much more respected in other cultures than they are in ours. But as I say, I don’t feel that with my family and that’s good for me.
What do you feel you can learn from the wisdom keepers?
Elle Gibson says
This is a great interview about the wisdom and power of love. When we transfer our love from generation to generation we give the world the best gift.
Thanks
Patricia A Patton says
Yes love is an amazingly powerful emotion. It may actually be wisdom personified Elle.