I am dumping today. This is totally a mental trip. It is the season– a time of rebirth, renewal, resurrection whether you believe in the Christ story, Passover or change in seasons. Don’t get mad at me for that sentence. This morning I am feeling the pain of change and rebirth. Because change never seems to be effortless.
This website is finally about to recreate itself. I liken changing this site to changing aspects of my life. How do you cope with changing? For example, I have a friendship/relationship that is working because to start, what each person expected seemed to be acceptable to the other person. These are unstated expectations so you can’t be absolutely certain. But now I have gotten the hint that the expectations are beginning to morph. I am feeling there could be trouble and that I should head it off at the pass. What this amounts to is one person wants something the other is not willing to share or give. It happens all the time. So how do I deal with it. Like an adult, like a friend, in a loving way, in an honest way. This is giving me some angst because I want to salvage as much of the interaction/friendship as I can. I don’t want change. But at the same time I do.
What would you do? With the website I am going to throw the ideas up and fix them as I clarify them. I have the big picture. As I get feedback from real people about where I can be of service I will refine. I am notorious for coming up with good ideas that folks are not interested in. HAH!! So I am proceeding a little differently this time.
How would you handle changing the status quo with a friend who had different expectations from you — especially if you want to retain and grow the relationship?
Do you experience change as physical discomfort? Thoughts.
Anu Prestonia says
Woowha!!! Tricky, scary, but often real, how to make adjustments without hurting hearts. I totally feel you on that. Often times we don’t want to make the change because there is something that person is offering that we’re afraid they won’t offer anymore if we request a shift, an adjustment and tweak.
In the long run, I feel that honest communication at the right time and place in a manner of loving kindness should/might make the other person more receptive and open to hearing from the heart. On the other hand you have to know that some times no matter the delivery, this could be a turning point that will leave you short, that is, without that thing that you were receiving from that person. Are you ready for that is what you/I have to ask ourselves. It will be a stretch for us, but we know when it has to be done. Good luck.
boomrwiz says
Thanks. I have still not had the conversation. A perfect time does not exist. Call me a Wooost.