My garden is full of life lessons. Just this week, it helped me understand what I’d learned from attending BlogHer 12 last week. When I googled to find out why the squash and cucumber seeds I’d planted had not produced fruit even though their leaves are ginormish, I learned there are parallels between that unforeseen( but foreseeable) garden result and my growth as a blogger.
A Google search suggests the first flowers of my veggies are male. Given the heat and overdose of storms along the Jersey Shore, it could be the female flowers have not have been pollinated by the male flowers or the bees. Thus I have greenery climbing walls but no actual squash or cucumbers. Google say I need to hand pollinate the plants with a small paint brush.
It dawns on me that cross pollination may be the best strategy to use when I attend conferences. Because when I went with a predetermined expectation that was not met in precisely the way I saw it in my mind’s eye, I experienced disappointment.
I went alone to my first BlogHer conference in 2010. I noticed that people were going to private parties, that many of them knew each other and the exhibitors seemed focused on one target market. I wanted some of that light but was feeling only shade.
Feeling this way I ran into Elisa (one of the BlogHer co-funders) in the hallway. She asked me rather sincerely how things were going and I responded emotionally. I do not remember her exact words, but I remember she did not “tsk-tsk” me or the way I was feeling. She acknowledged my discomfort by listening. And as a result, I was able to continue throughout the conference day like the child-I felt-I-was on the first day of school. Her response to me speaks to the warmth she, Lisa and Jory exude.
Unlike the expectation that I would grow squash and cucumbers that look like their picture on the seed packaging, I have learned to temper my expectations about any conference goal that overrides my ability to enjoy myself. Veteran that I am this year, I attended BlogHer12 totally relaxed. I refuse to run around like a banshee, to chase sponsors, brands or PR people or to pile up on swag. Understand, I am not judging with that last comment.
Panel Highlights
I was stoked by President Obama’s kick off to the conference. I had a blast at all 3 official parties Thursday evening. Friday morning I started the day in The Writing track with “Turning your Blog posts into Publishable Essays. Panelists Jennifer Armstrong, Susan Goldberg and Rita Arens helped us understand the publishing industry is no longer open to publishing books composed of blog posts that have already been published. Further they tried to help attendees understand that a blog post is the anecdote bloggers should use to express what is universal when they write an essay.
The very larger-than-life Martha Stewart was our keynote for the day. She did not disappoint and she is in her 7th decade. I am one of those early Martha followers who feels that Martha improved after she went to jail. (Note: I didn’t feel she should have been punished in this way). She refused however to be broken and I am not mad at her. Vitality is her middle name.
I had a fun afternoon at the Strategic Content Development Across Multiple Media: Onstage, Onscreen, and Online. Dr. Goddess, Franchesca Ramsey, Issa Rae, and Luvvie Ajayi were our panelists. They are hysterical accomplished comedic actors/entrepreneurs. My takeaway from this panel included identification of the tools that allow one to measure a site’s social reach across platforms. Beyond google analytics, I first heard of tweetreach that pulls reports from hashtags and crowdbooster. Loved it!
I started Saturday morning with the panel Erotica Out in the Open. So if you haven’t heard of Arielle Loren Lauren Marie Fleming aka Queerie Bradshaw, Sienna Jae Fein orTawanna Hines, google them. No I will tell you. See www.corsetmagazine.com, www.funkybrownchick.com, www.datingseniormen.com, and www.queeriebradshaw.com
There was an openness to the panelist’s conversation that was refreshing and the room was filled with laughter. What about this thought: women who are older are entitled to and deserving of sex vigorous and vital, so says Sienna of www.datingseniormen. The other panelist took the conversation to other thought-provoking levels. I was expanded by the conversation.
By 11 am I became a panelist on the Blogging into Midlife panel. With me were Ann L Dunnewold, PhD., Darryle Pollack, and Lynn Forbes as moderator. The room was full and there was much audience participation. It seemed we midlifers were validated to have a forum that valued our life experiences. I felt pretty good that our panel was able to share some specific ideas for making and embracing change.
The joy of BlogHer is really in the interaction you share. From my first foray alone into the blogging unknown in search of knowledge, an audience, community and reinvention, I learned you plant your seeds for a conference: decide who you might want to meet, which sponsors you want to have a face-to-face with, what you want to learn and who the specialists in this area are. But once you arrive, you have to stay loose and go with the flow.
Just as I must hand pollinate my squash and cucumbers to yield fruit, I also need to spend more time cross-pollinating ideas with other attendees. Sometimes the fruit yielded by this kind of interaction is not immediately obvious. But it is a wizdom practice.
I have yet to find better all around programming at any conference than what Blogher produces. The Conference staff was awesome. It was my first time interfacing with them because it was my first time speaking on a panel. But they were so professional. Big shout/out to Polly and Shannon and the entire crew. Each year you can see that they have worked to have relevant topics and truthfully the programming showcases many voices.
I return each year because without fail the conference has enhanced my life personally and professionally. Not always in the ways that I thought it should but over time I recognize there are always clear takeaways if you plant those seeds. Those of you who know me know this conference was a big deal for me. Thanks for hanging in here with me even though it may not make sense to you. Ask me anything 😀
Eva says
Hi! Just stopping by your blog. Realizing that we have been in several of the same conferences in the last couple of years. I went to BlogHer for the first time this year, and it is definitely different from the smaller ones like Blogging While Brown and Blogalicious. Even though I came with a friend, there were times I felt isolated – but the experience was definitely worth it. I was at the Dr. Goddess panel as well… so funny! Eventually I met some wonderful bloggers – as soon as I opened up a little. I was always the one who figured my plants should look just like the ones on the packages – as soon as I planted them. Luckily, I didn’t have a picture in my mind of what my BlogHer experience was supposed to be, so I managed to find enough joy in the experience to do it again next year. Maybe I’ll see you!
boomrwiz says
SocaMom
Thrilled seriously that you stopped by. I am happy you enjoyed BlogHer.It’s very different from Blogalicious or BWB. But as you said there is clear joy in the experience and that’s why this was my 3rd year.I so think I need to stretch out a bit from just going to blogging conferences, but this one is a fav. Was just over at SocaMom. Love what you are doing in building a community and will be looking at you. I truly enjoyed motherhood and am now awaiting grandparenting. It’s an important and rewarding job. Take care Eva.
Chris Bradshaw says
Patricia – I went to some of the same panels, and definitely had the same reaction. The openness and helpfulness of everyone was amazing. You were a key piece of the MidLife panel for me. There was an amazing feeling of affirmation by many of the women in that panel – feeling that here was a group where they could be honest about their age – especially if over 50+!
The Erotica panelists are all my heroes – the discussion about whether to blog about that topic openly or with a pseudonym was insightful and the question about “Do people go out with you in order to be on your blog?” was hilarious.
boomrwiz says
I forgot about that question. That could put a lot of pressure on you if this was one of the things you were known for. Kind of like performers who have on-stage personas that are diametrically opposed to who they seem to be off stage. I think openness was one of my takeaways: the fact that it pays to always try to be open and to be conscious of it even if it is an attribute you give yourself.
Thanks so much for stopping by boomerwizdom. I really appreciate it.