Conversation With My 20 Year Old Self
Â I am a member of a Facebook group called GenFab composed of midlife or boomer bloggers. Â This week, GenFab hosted a Blog Hop in which all participants wrote a letter to their 20-year-old self. Well I am late to the party in that this began on Monday but what with Sandy and the Noreaster, well I just could not get it done any earlier than today. Â Please feel free to leave comments to your Â 20-year-old self as well, or to my 20-year-old self . Then read the letters from my fellow bloggers. If theyâ€™re not showing up below, you can find them allÂ here.
You are a fearless young (veryÂ young) woman Patricia. I will give you that. Even though you have little realÂ life experience or experience in taking care of yourself, you are confident that you CAN do this and that you will be able to do this on your own terms. So before you head off to San Francisco, here is what I want to share with you.
Bravado will take you far. Â But there is a difference between living an independent life and feeling true independence. Â Â You are running from a kind of life that will ensure Â you will not be trapped by a man, wo/man, fish or fowl. Â The early 1960’s white picket fence marriages of your two older sisters stands as a permanent reminder that what looks pretty may not feel pretty. Â And that happiness is no one’s responsibility but one’s own. Â Your problem is in putting this understanding in perspective so that you will be able to co-create an independent live with a companion.
I am concerned that you will roam the planet alone. Â So P, Â I encourage you to
- Watch your proud indicator. Â “Pride,” the old folks say, “comes before a fall.” Â Just trying to save you a little pain.
- Ask for what you want. Â No one can read your mind. Â Truthfully it is your job to let people know. Â Anyone who guesses correctly does not have super powers.
- Do not mis-read types. The tall silent type is just that: tall and silent. Â It does not mean they are deep.
- Remember, none of what will happen between you and the relationships you focus on is personal. Â Okay it is but it isn’t so don’t linger too long trying to figure it out. Â Just check your patterns.
- When you begin to seek someone to BE WITH and are grappling with whether they can take care of you, figure out your own definition of what it means for someone to take care of you. Is it money, smarts, a take-control attitude, the ability to comfort you or trust.
Thanks for your attention. Â I am smiling at you.